Okay, so writing verse obviously isn't part of my job description. But finding and writing about (and coveting) cool stuff is, so if anyone in your house still needs another 'prise or two under the tree, feel free to crib from my own Christmas wishlist:

Unfortunately Warner's new Clint Eastwood retrospective, Clint Eastwood: 35 Years 35 Films, doesn't hit shelves for a few months yet (and is only slated for release on standard-def DVD; booo, hiss, I say), but you can still give the fan in your family a gorgeous overview of Clint's career nonetheless in the form of Clint Eastwood Icon: The Essential Film Art Collection.

This oversized hardback volume sports more than 400 big beautiful reproductions of "poster art, lobby cards, studio ads, and esoteric film memorabilia" spanning Eastwood's career. And in the spirit of giving, a portion of the proceeds from sales of the book are contributed to the Action Council of Monterey County/Clint Eastwood Fund promoting literacy in California.

I'm pretty sure proceeds from the sale of The Mel Brooks Collection (Blu-ray) are only contributed to Florence Baum, but don't let that stop you from sticking it under the tree. The collection comes complete with nine of Brooks' Fox/MGM films—The Twelve Chairs, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Silent Movie, High Anxiety, History of the World – Part I, To Be Or Not To Be, Spaceballs, and Robin Hood, Men In Tights—in high-def, as well as an exclusive 120-page hardcover book titled "It's Hard To Be The King!"

Continuing with the literary trend (I like a book—sue me), Indiana University Press has published what may well be the greatest use of dead trees in the history of history: The Year's Work in Lebowski Studies, edited by Edward P. Comentale and Aaron Jaffe. The book consists of 21 essays with titles that run the gamut from "Metonymic Hats and Metophoric Tumbleweeds: Noir Literacy Aesthetics in Miller's Crossing and The Big Lebowski" to "What Condition the Postmodern Condition Is In." Even if you don't read it, it'll really tie your bookshelf together. But lest you think this hefty 500-page tome is a joke, I should mention that it includes footnotes, and footnotes are never a laughing matter. Unless they're funny. In this case, they are.

And if the Lebowski fan on your list isn't the reading type, there's always the Seattle Seven Bowling Shirt (complete with The Dude as Buddha on the back) from the Official Lebowski Fest Pro Shop. Hey, even fascists and nihilists need to look sharp when throwing rocks.

Chances are, a few of you have also sprung for flat panel TVs this holiday season, and don't have a lot of coin left over for a sexy wall mount. (Or maybe you sprung for the flat panel last Christmas and you're tired of it hogging valuable real estate on your dresser a year later.) Not to worry: the omnimount from... umm, OmniMount, is not only an innovative and easy-to-install flat panel mounting solution for 13- to 42-inch flat panel TVs, at less than forty clams it's also cheap enough to count as a stocking stuffer.